Okay, so I lied. If you're new to the comic, it may be worth noting that the previous comic was sort of an April fools joke (sort of) and I said the comic was done with for a week to spite all the people that piss me off (you know who you are).
Metroid, Samus Aran, Space Pirates, and all that other stuff are properties of Nintendo. Contra is a property of Konami. All other characters are property of their respective owners. Pretty much everything else is property of me, unless specifically noted otherwise.